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some musings

In lieu of any reaction post for The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People (because really, I can't be expected to type the noises I made at the end of that two-parter), here's a little snippet of what's been bouncing around in my head since the episode aired.

I didn't realize until today how deep the connection between Amy and the Doctor actually is. Now, I am an 11/Amy shipper, but not in the sense that I expect, or even hope, that they're somehow going to end up together anymore. I firmly believe that Amy loves, and belongs with, Rory. However, I also believe that the Doctor loves her deeply. I think that his feelings for her are romantic on some level, yes. That being said, there is so much more to their connection than what can be neatly categorized as "romance." I don't think the Doctor has had a bond this strong with any previous companion (that I've seen anyway). Amy is the very first person he meets after regenerating, and she's a little girl. The Doctor was a dad once. Children are absolutely precious in his eyes. And he meets this little girl who and is just the most sensible child he's ever met -- she asks all the right questions and none of the wrong ones and she doesn't bat an eye at his weird cravings and not once does she even consider not believing the insane magic man before her -- and she takes his hand and looks up at him and trusts him completely, and in that moment she's stolen his heart. He doesn't even have a chance: she's completely won him over. And even after all their adventures that follow, he still sees her as that little girl. And he loves her fiercely for it, the way a father loves his daughter. But there's more to it than that. Because after all the time he spends looking after her and fixing her and saving her and trying to make her all better no matter what happens -- sacrificing himself and his TARDIS just so that his Amelia can finally have a family again -- after all that, she stands up and remembers him back into existence. She's not just saving his life. She's almost creating him, in a sense. She imagines him into being. And I think the Doctor's just astounded. Not because he didn't expect her to be able to do it or anything like that, but just astounded by her. Who wouldn't be? He gave her every reason to never believe him and never trust him again, after what she went through growing up, and yet when he asked her to, she believed in him and trusted him so hard that he became real. He owes her everything, and he knows it. When someone gives you that kind of faith, you know you have to live up to it. That's why the Doctor has spent most of this season worrying himself sick over Amy. We know now that this episode's aired that the Doctor has been slowly working out that the Amy who's been traveling with him is actually Amy's consciousness plumbed into a Ganger body, and that the real Amy is trapped somewhere, and he doesn't know how to save her. He would do anything for her. And so he does. He's going to raise an army to rescue her. He's done this once already: he went to war to save the universe from the Daleks and the Time Lords. And now the Doctor is going to go to war for Amy Pond. Because he's all right with letting her be with Rory, get married, and stop thinking about him in that way. He'll be all right with her leaving the TARDIS to start a life and a family in Leadworth, when the time comes. But he is not all right with anything happening to her. The moment you hurt Amy Pond, the Doctor becomes the most dangerous man in the universe. And I cannot wait to see what happens when he does.


Also, a glimpse into my head canon, which I kind of really want someone to write a story about:

So, in my personal canon, Amy steals future!Eleven's bowtie before they cremate him in The Impossible Astronaut. And she keeps it with her with all her stuff in their room in the TARDIS, and sometimes in the middle of the night she gets up and sits there and just holds it and worries, or cries, or tries to think of some way to save him. And eventually she starts carrying it around in her pocket, and then she ends up forgetting she has it until years later, after loads more adventures and monsters and running, when she and Rory have saved the Doctor after all and said goodbye and left the TARDIS and gone home to Leadworth and started a family and then one day Amy’s doing laundry and emptying out all the pockets of her old jeans that she hasn’t even touched in years and she pulls out this bowtie that she totally forgot was there and she starts laughing and crying and Rory comes into the laundry room like “What’s up?” and she just holds up the bowtie and he puts his arms around her and they laugh and cry and remember for a while, and then Amy puts the bowtie up on the wall somewhere in their house, like in the dining room or something, and then when their first little boy starts growing up he asks his mommy and daddy about the bowtie, and Amy and Rory smile at each other, and then that little boy gets to have the best bedtime stories ever for the rest of his childhood.

Y/Y?

Finally, some thoughts from this week's Confidential:

I try not to ship Matt/Karen too hard. I really do. I mean, I know they’ve both got significant others and their love lives are really none of my business.

But guys, you can’t go on Confidential and tell a story about how you were hanging out one night and she asked you to walk her back up into her flat above the dentist’s because she was scared and not expect SOMEONE to go THAT’S REALLY ADORABLE AND SWEET AND I THINK YOU SHOULD GET MARRIED. Especially not when said story then devolves into giggling and peering into rooms to make sure they’re safe and something about blood on a door and setting the fire alarm off. All I can think when I hear that is THEY HAD SCARY GIGGLY SHENANIGANS SNEAKING UP INTO KAREN’S FLAT AT NIGHT. THEY ARE IN A ROMCOM.

So really it’s their own fault.

Comments

HAHA! I love your bit about Matt and Karen! It really is their own fault....

As to your observations about Amy and Eleven, I agree with you that the bond they have is quite a bit deeper than any other Doctor/companion bond we've seen before, primarily because he met her as a child, and for all the reasons you pointed out above with Amy as a child and her ability to remember him back into existence.

I admit I can't see the romantic love. Of course the Dream Lord in Amy's Choice delves into his deep, dark, subconscious, and he obviously feels lust, but I just can't see it.

I'm going to go with the "deep friendship" relationship. If you were that close to someone, you would go to war for them, even if you weren't in love with them in a sexual/romantic way.

That doesn't mean if Moffat chooses to hint at it more, I couldn't see it going there. I'm open to anything! ^^

And btw, your canon is super cute. ^^

[I admit I can't see the romantic love. Of course the Dream Lord in Amy's Choice delves into his deep, dark, subconscious, and he obviously feels lust, but I just can't see it.

I'm going to go with the "deep friendship" relationship. If you were that close to someone, you would go to war for them, even if you weren't in love with them in a sexual/romantic way.
]

That's totally fair. And even if it's not romance, IT'S STILL WONDERFUL.
IT IS SO WONDERFUL I CAN'T EVEN--

*flails*
I'm sleepy so I'll make this quick:

AGREED SO. HARD. CORE. ABOUT YOUR AMY/11 PARAGRAPH. Just... yeah. :D

The other bits I already commented on Tumblr. :p
Okay, this is perfect and flawless and amazing and I don't care what happens because that whole first part is true.

Um, I'd honestly been feeling very conflicted about the show recently. Because the only thing I could actively ship was Eleven/Amy. I mean, I love River, I love Rory, but I could not ship them with their respective partners. I just can't. So lately I've been feeling like kind of a bad fan, because really they are all amazing and I want, so badly, to have all these shiny wonderful feelings that I see everyone talking about but I just can't, all I can do is ship Eleven/Amy so much that it hurts even though I know that they will never be endgame and I have fully accepted that but I can't stop, I can't change, and I really felt like there was somehow something wrong with me because of all this, so much so that it was kind of affecting my enjoyment of the show.

But then I watched The Almost People. And then I saw the explosion on tumblr. And then I read this post. And now my conflicted feelings are less conflicting and more rainbows.

So, sorry to wordvomit feelings all over your post, but I just wanted you to know how much this meant to me. :)
[But then I watched The Almost People. And then I saw the explosion on tumblr. And then I read this post. And now my conflicted feelings are less conflicting and more rainbows.]

SAME HERE.
This is the most flawless post I have ever seen and I am in love with you.
*blushes violently and waves hands* Oh, stop it. XD